Buy Sev's Latest Book

Be sure to buy my latest e-book at Amazon! Dark Matters

Sunday, April 14, 2013

To What Purpose

I spent most of yesterday on my bike, blowing through tanks of gas like I was a newly minted teen-aged driver.  It was great.  It was fantastic.  It is something I need to do more often, despite the lack of anyone to ride with.

I'm not a meander about type of gal.  If there is one thing about me that my husband absolutely hates is that I will do nothing without a purpose.  He can get into a car and just drive around. I cannot. I have to have a reason to be going anywhere or doing anything.  In other words, I don't have an aimless atom in my being. I can sit about reading for hours, but I am reading.  I can't even watch TV without doing something else as well.  Sitting around staring at the wall is really all TV watching is.

With that being said, I can easily get on my bike and aimlessly ride the buffet of country roads around my home.  Yesterday I wound up in Coryell County  and Mother Neff State Park.  As a State Park it's sort of a non-starter.  Years ago there was a very bad flood and they closed the park, only opening it during the day for hikers.  Last year they finally re-opened the camping areas, said they were spending tax dollars on cleaning up the hiking trails and the mile or so of road area... I did not see much more than the camp sites by the entrance having been cleaned up.  There is almost no parking space and the hiking trails are littered with debris.  Almost everyone I saw at the park was walking on the roads, not the trails.  Well, it's a small park.

I just rode down roads, not really caring which direction I was going.  I have an iPhone, I always know how to get home.  With my luck I'd wind up in some backwoods hick town where everyone believes all people riding bikes are the devil and they'd come at me with nooses and torches.  But I dared fate yesterday and I won.

As a once in a while thing, this is probably the most fun I've had in a very long time.  I don't think I would enjoy it as much if I did it every day.

In life I see far too many people living aimlessly.  They meander through life, taking whatever job, not having any real goal in mind and just going wherever the winds take them.  It's OK for a vacation, but not as a going concern.  To truly live you must have a purpose, you have to have the drive to get you to your goals.  Just waking up every morning and showing up is not good enough.  That's what we do in the crap jobs that mean nothing more to us than a paycheck at the end of the day.  We show up, zombie step through the hoops they give us, then we go home and don't really change anything.

Every single time my husband suggests something my first response is, "To what purpose?"  Because I know he hasn't thought that far down the line yet.  He never has, he never will.  It's who he is.  My leading this horse to knowledge has not made him think.  Nine times out of ten it's just some idea he's had an not thought through to it's natural, disastrous conclusion.  But there are times when he hits gold and comes up with something brilliant.  Last night he came up with an idea for a Biergarten style patio arrangement in our backyard.  I have to admit, I stood in awe of his vision.  Not just the vision, but the scope of it.  Finally!  He got an idea, thought it through and could show me exactly what he was talking about.  I cannot wait to see him start and finish the project.

For once his brain did not walk aimlessly, it had purpose and drive and he was able to articulate it to me.  If you knew my husband you would understand the enormity of this feat.  He's a grown man who still grunts and gestures like a 2 year old.  He showed me something quite new and I am amazed.

Our brains need to do this with everything.  It's one thing to sit and daydream, we all do it.  It's quite another to come up with a new way to present your living room and then make it happen.  I envy people with any type of interior decorating skills.  I have none whatsoever.  We need to think of things that excite us, that nurture us and that inspire us.  We need to feed that and not sit staring at the wall and call it entertainment.  As a person who lives in my head, it's one thing to conceive an idea and quite another to put it into action.  I procrastinate because I am always afraid that my vision will never live up to my expectations. But I do see things through.  Because I expect others to follow through on their promises. 

In the past year I have learned to ride a motorcycle, built a greenhouse, begun a vegetable garden, gotten tattoos and seriously begun to live my life according to MY plans, not anybody else's.  I have never been happier.  I have goals, I have a purpose.  Nothing I do, with the exception of riding, is aimless.  Nah, that's not really the truth either.  I had to check out Mother Neff as a wedding venue.  It failed miserably.  But I got to ride!

When you are asked to sacrifice for the common good, ask the demander, "to what purpose?" and listen to their answer, if they have one.  Refuse to sacrifice your happiness on the altar of altruism.  Stealing your happiness cannot really purchase theirs.

No comments: