Joy!

Joy is defined as the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.

Now as you sit there picking your nose or eating that sandwich, I want you to think back to the last time you felt that emotion. I have to change laundry loads, I can wait.

Come up with it yet?

I know exactly when I did. Last night as I fell asleep next to the love of my life. My Kindle. Psych, honey, it was YOU! He's so going to make me pay for that, too.

I have been depressed exactly twice in my life and remember both times with remarkable clarity. One was the death of my son, which is completely understandable. The other was the death of my first marriage. The depression was more disgust with myself because I had tried very hard to become what everyone expected of me and did not stay true to myself, all for peace within the family unit, which ultimately made everyone miserable. So it came as a huge surprise to everyone around me when I walked out. My spirit, my innermost being rebelled mightily at being caged in conformity and being someone I was not. Talk about a pressure cooker.

In the book "Atlas Shrugged" Ayn Rand writes of the debut of Dagny Taggart into society. Her mother is amazed by her beautiful daughter, for once being all girly. Dagny is described as being almost radiant in her anticipation of her come out and her mother worries about her daughter who has "such a capacity for joy in a world with so little use for it".

So, when was the last time you felt joy? Last night? Yesterday? Last week? Last Year?

Are you unhappy with your lot in life? Change it. Can it happen overnight? I don't know. It all has to do with how eager you are to free yourself from self- or family imposed expectations of YOUR life. What is it YOU want to do with YOUR life? If you refuse to pick yourself out of it, then why do you expect Momma Gubmint or anyone else to do it for you? The ONLY thing keeping your in your own misery is YOU.

You know what the hardest thing in the world to do is? Throw everyone's expectations about you back in their faces and tell them you are going to do things YOUR way for the betterment of YOU. I know this for a fact. But, I must be true to me and not do things I don't want to do. Oh, I have to work and pay my taxes, but these are things I must do so that I can do those things which I want. I hate shopping, so I do most of it online, even grocery shopping. However, I do have to go out to the shops occasionally, and I do guerrilla actions, strike at night and sink back into the dark when I'm done.

This is one of the hardest concepts our minds must make in this altruistic society. Altruism is the antithesis of joy. Tell me in what alternate reality that destroying yourself for something or someone else is in your rational self-interest? What society demands that you destroy yourself for the betterment of your neighbor? What kind of evil is that and why are we expected to swallow that bitter pill? I won't do it. Yes, just like a three year old faced with the expectation of bathing, I won't do it. Uh-uh, can't make me. However, unlike a three year old, I can rationalize why I won't do it.

It is not with my rational self-interest to do so and doing so would not make me happy, so no, I will NOT sacrifice my joy for your expectation. Hard cheese, indeed, but there it is.

Think about it this way, we are told that we must sacrifice more and more of our money, our freedoms for some person in the ghetto to have a better self-esteem? Why? Is the lazy bum sitting around scratching his ass, watching Jerry Springer while stuffing Cheetohs into his mouth while whining about how he never got a chance and so we owe him a living? Well, get your ass out there and earn his living for him why don't you? I won't. WILL NOT. To put too fine a point on it, I refuse to work myself to death so that cheetoh eating leech can continue to sit on his arse.

Why?

Because I'm too busy fulfilling my own goals and earning my own living to buy the things I want. No one will just hand a chance to me, so I have to work for it, earn it and appreciate it. And each time I do, I get over on the people who expect me to lie down for them.

And that game never gets old.