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Saturday, July 31, 2010

Unnatural Relationships

I've just returned home from my weekly grocery consumerism and I was struck by an overheard conversation between two adult women. It had to do with mothers-in-law. I was struck because I am one of the few women of my acquaintance who adore their MIL.

Shouldn't I, though? I think it's logical to love the woman who bore and raised the tightly wound ball of ADD that is my husband. Frankly, I'm amazed he made it out of her house alive, with his smart mouth and her very clean and orderly house and life. God, I wish I had the energy and inclination to scrub the cabinets to make them shine like new and keep my baseboards free from dust. Hell, I wish I could remember to dust. She's a Dutch spitfire who loves to bowl and cooks like an angel. And there isn't a brave enough spec of dust to brave her housekeeping. Considerate house guests who know her remove their shoes before entering the house. She has white carpets, white tiles. I have a heart attack if I am stupid enough to spill anything and spoil the immaculate house in any way.

She's not Germanic about it. She laughs about spills, she doesn't hover and clean around you. Her home is beautiful AND comfortable. I love going over there for dinner. I always eat too much and have so much fun talking to my in-laws.

So, naturally I adore my in-laws. They raised the man I love well enough to want to marry. That says a lot about the type of people they are. Someone as great as my husband was not raised by wolves (although sometimes I think he wishes he was). He was raised by people who are wonderful and kind enough to make their grown son see nothing wrong with buying a house across the street from them. And it's not like Everyone Loves Raymond, either. We're not constantly under each others feet. We see each other as often as we like. We watch their house and yard when they go out of town, they watch our pets and house when we do the same.

Our relationship didn't happen immediately and in fact took years and the death of our son to bring about this relationship. It's one I value and would never take for granted. It's not anything I would complain about to my girlfriend at the grocery store while picking out tomatoes.

As I think about it, I think that in some ways it illustrates that sometimes we can look at others and think for whatever reasons that they are not worthy of our esteem or respect. We may think they have a scheme or ulterior motive. It takes effort on both parties to forge a relationship that each can enjoy and respect. It's what we will need to do after November delivers a blow to the Libs that they will react to like two-year-olds denied their nap. We need to be bigger than they have been in their power grab over the Senate and Congress. We need to take the moral high ground and tell them no, firmly, and explain to them why we need to cut entitlements and spending and hope they can be grown-up enough to learn.

I don't think we will ever achieve what I have with my mother-in-law with the Libs. They have created nothing worthy of celebrating and have not husbanded their assets as they should have. There is nothing conservatives hate more than waste. We have to show them that we will not capitulate, hurt will happen in the next budget session and their reliance on a base of need and entitlement will be their undoing. Do you honestly think some welfare queen in the projects is going to vote, much less vote republican? It's not likely. Neither will Hispanics vote in numbers great enough to influence the outcome of any election, local or national. Identity Politics is a very short and dead-end road.

We can understand that we will not be friends, but we can still be friendly. Texas Cheerleader friendly. And you know how scared I am of those bitches.

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