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Tuesday, June 07, 2016

Happy Birthday To Me

I saw this meme today on Facebook and loved it immediately. It's because I think that all human beings should acknowledge and appreciate their worth.

A few years back I saw a tweet on Twitter (I deleted my account because I hate Twitter) wherein a young woman wrote an article about being a black, single mom and how proud she was of herself for doing it on her own, buying her own things with her own money that she'd earned. She's teaching her son valuable lessons from that example. She wowed me. I was proud of her, happy for her, for knowing her own worth.

Last week I gave an interview and was asked what was my biggest influence for my writing. I write Romance, for the most part. There are far more romance books out there written by me than there are my philosophical and political ones. But my largest influence, on both sides of fiction and non-fiction has been Ayn Rand.

Before you gasp and clutch your pearls, her view on the aesthetic of romance was in keeping with the rest of Objectivist philosophy. Aesthetics is the fifth pillar or all philosophy. Her view on romantic love was a very healthy one, even if she didn't practice it. Others have and been happy with it. The picture above encapsulates the entire concept.

When you realize how much you're worth, you'll stop giving discounts."

Truth. Reality you cannot hide from.

And it came at a very good time, as some recent research I've been doing has made me very sad for people as a whole. Consider the hook up culture. There are entire websites and phone apps dedicated to nothing but finding someone to bump fuzzies with. That's it, get it on, and you're both ghosts. Young people think it's great, and they never look at those around them to see how miserable they are, and they never get older and look back at this time of their lives as where all of their self-doubt and hatred began. If you value something, you hold it close, you do not give away recklessly. Even if it's your own body.

Roll your eyes, but when you get older and no one treats you with respect, it's because you never treated yourself with respect.

Why don't people get this? I've been singing this song for too many years. All of those people out there hooking up like their body is nothing more than for someone else to "defile" if only in their thoughts. They won't think you respect yourself, because you're doing what you do... with them. Neither of you respect yourselves, so it's naughty, and even a little fun to film yourself doing things to one another then posting it online, then going on like it's nothing. And, neither of you realize you've told the entire world not to respect you. You didn't just tell them, you screamed it.

When you don't care about something, you freely, happily give it way to anyone who asks.

Think about attraction. When someone lets you know that you're attractive to them, they become more attractive to you. Why? Because they are recognizing your worth, and in return, you recognize theirs. It's the sturdy foundation that all healthy relationships are built on.

This healthy self-image and appreciation comes from spending time by yourself, getting to know you without anyone else in the equation. I hate seeing people just coming out of a relationship and immediately throwing themselves into anything to get their mind off of it. It should be time spent alone, not with friends or anyone else, to recognize yourself without that other part of you. Know yourself as someone other that so-and-so's someone, or as someone's daughter, sister, brother, mother or father. Get to know YOU again. It's very healthy and I think, for most, they come out on the other side happier for it.

They come out knowing their own worth, and they stop giving discounts to the unworthy. Try it.

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