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Thursday, August 21, 2014

Gun Grabber Anxiety - Dealing With The Anxious Gun Grabber

Like us, gun grabbers have anxieties and fears. A gun grabber's anxieties, may not be the same as our own anxieties, but they cause stress and physical reactions just the same.
Some common gun grabber anxiety problems include -
  • No Repeal of the 2nd Amendment – A gun grabber gets anxious when every attempt to take guns away from law abiding citizens fails.
  • Noise anxiety – A gun grabber becomes fearful when exposed to loud or unusual noises. Some examples include fireworks, BB Gun fire, hand gun fire, shot gun blasts and rifle fire.
  • Meme anxiety – The gun grabber is so afraid of everything he believes every meme on the internet and that spoons really do cause obesity.
  • Appeasement anxiety – This happens when a gun grabber has done everything to make the criminal like him, up to and including peeing on himself in a submissive posture but gets shot anyway. Because he knows it's not the criminal's fault, it's HIS fault the gun just spontaneously fired and hit him in the kidney.

Symptoms of Gun Grabber Anxiety

When gun grabbers are anxious, they may engage in repetitive or displacement behaviors to relieve their stress. For example, when we are anxious, we may pace, bite our nails, or play with our hair.

Gun grabbers may also pace, whine, cry on camera and more. Some gun grabber anxiety behaviors may lead to property destruction, may cause us harm, or may simply be an Occupy Whatever sit in. This may include -
  • Non-stop whining.
  • Screaming at every TV camera in sight.
  • Pooping and peeing in the tent, sidewalk or police car areas.
  • Eating his own poop.
  • Aggression toward people, Conservatives, or other 2nd Amendment protectors.
Punishment or aversive techniques will do little to stop these anxious gun grabber behaviors in the long-run, because punishment does not address the source of the problem, which is the gun grabber’s anxiety. In fact, suppression of these displacement behaviors, through pain and dominance methods, will make the problem worse, because pain increases stress and uncertainty. And further cause the gun grabber to pee himself when in the presence of guns.

Gun Grabber Anxiety Solution 1 – Desensitization

One of the best ways to help a gun grabber deal with his anxiety issues, is by slowly desensitizing him to the problem stimulus.

In the desensitization process, we start with a weak version of the stimulus that is triggering the anxiety attack.  In this case, pictures of guns alone, by themselves, just lying around being guns.

The stimulus must be weak enough, so that gun grabber is able to stay calm in its presence. Then, get him to focus on the picture, by telling him baby seals will learn to feed penguins at the South Pole if he looks long enough.

If the gun grabber is able to focus and stay in-control, reward him with a very high priority treat. For desensitization purposes, I usually try hipster kid mottos and memes. I try to pick a highly aromatic or smelly treat that the gun grabber loves, but does not usually get to eat. The smell will help to engage his nose, and further distract him from the source of his anxiety. Try a Starbucks coffee with biscotti.

When he is comfortable with this exercise, is calm, and able to follow simple commands, I very slowly raise the strength of the problem stimulus. I make each session short, fun, and very rewarding.  At this point, show him pictures of hunters holding rifles and shot guns, of police at the pistol range.

In this way, the gun grabber learns alternative behaviors for dealing with stressful situations. He also learns to associate something that was previously a source of fear and stress, with something positive (nice smells, yummy treats, a clean bathroom) with being calm.

Gun Grabber Anxiety Solution 2 – Calm Environment

Another important aspect of helping an anxious dog, is to create a calm and predictable environment for him, in his daily life.
  • Fixed routine – The problem with most gun grabbers is that most of them don't have real jobs so they spend most of their time online or staring at their cell phones, not engaging with the world around them.  Try to get them to wake up early, hit the Help Wanted ads and get a routine going that does not include coffee shops, texting or Skype.
  • Staying calm - Most gun grabbers are very good at picking up the energy of the people around them, especially at a protest rally. It is always best to maintain a calm, assertive attitude around them.  Also, be sure to threaten violence upon their person if they don't calm down.  It is my theory this hearkens back to their childhood and instills a parental fear in them.
  • Yanking the Collar– When your gun grabber gets too excited (they are all very excitable about myths and false narratives) the only rebuke I would recommend, so that you do not reinforce the gun fears, is to yank back on the shirt collar sharply, while giving a firm command of "NO!". Repeat as needed until your gun grabber is back in a calm submissive state and ready to learn.
At this point you should be ready to walk your gun grabber past a gun cabinet or open gun locker.  Do not be disappointed by any behavior regression, it is common.  Just start back at the beginning and work back up.

You should work up from viewing real guns in a home atmosphere to perhaps walking by a gun shop or entering a Target or Wal*Mart without screaming anything about guns.  Once again, expect some regression, but a sharp yank on the collar at this point does the gun grabber a world of good.

Once you can walk into a gun shop, work on touching.  Tactile experience is usually the best way to break the gun grabber anxiety, but it takes a lot of work to get them to that point. You may also want to take them, as a guest, to your local range. The day you know you've won is when they walk up to you at the range, having driven there by themselves, to show you their new Ruger, you've turned a gun grabber into a 2nd Amendment lover.

There is no greater joy than to take a person so afraid of everything they piss themselves at the slightest evidence of aggression to being self-assured because they can now protect themselves.

I do caution you, however, there are a few intransigent gun grabbers that cannot be rehabilitated.  They will have to be put down and their spawn watched very closely for this abhorrent behavior, if they have managed to reproduce.

This is not easy work, but it is rewarding.  To see the gleam in their eyes when it finally dawns of them that they are the masters of their own destinies and no longer blown about by the fads and whims of whatever the Leftists make up, well, I admit,  I've cried.

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