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Friday, March 28, 2014

Let's Tawk Ticks!

Back in the day, The Houston Chronicle had a columnist by the name of Jeff Millar.  He was also the writer for the comic strip Tank Macnamara.  The man had a sly wit and didn't date, he married.  A lot.

One of his comic characters was based on Houston Trauma Specialist Dr. Red Duke.  Dr. Duke is what we here in Texas call 'a character'.  He's been at the UT-HSC Houston since the early 80's and has had a popular segment on news stations in Houston since then.  He's also known for his thick, Texas accent.  He does have that 'down home' accent that I imagine made most of his patients feel confident in his abilities.  Millar pegged him perfectly in the comic strip, from whence I grabbed the title of today's blog.  Or, as Millar might have written, Blawg!

If I was forced to come up with one reason, and one reason only why Progressive Liberals should have a bullet introduced into their brain pans as soon as they are identified in the wild, it would be their assumption that people in the South are stupid because we tend to talk slower, with less obfuscating words, than our Northern, prissy neighbors.  Hell, we speak slower because when the Carpet Baggers come down after the War of Northern Aggression, we figured they just didn't understand English.

My own father has told me that he doesn't like Southern Accents because we sound dumber.  He was born in Berkeley, CA, go figure.  Freakin' hippie.  We are made fun of in movies, TV, song, literature, you name it.  Yet, the premier Medical Center is in Houston, TX.  That's south, right?  Johnson Space Center is also in Houston, TX.  Cape Canaveral is in Florida.  Huntsville, AL is also a hotbed of aerospace technology.  All in the south.  That's rocket science, kiddies.  Three of the top physics schools are in Texas, UT-Arlington up in Dallas, UT-Austin, and Rice University in Houston. Krug Life Sciences does Flight Med for the astronauts at Johnson Space Center.  They are among the top notch private firms for bio-medical research.  CDCs are located in Atlanta, GA. Vanderbilt University Medical Center is world renown (not as much as the Houston Medical Center) for it's ground breaking research facilities.

All of these facilities in the "slow" south.

Which leads me to the conclusion that Yankees are dumber than a bag of hair. (If y'all could see how badly I originally misspelled so many words in my typing up that last sentence you would wonder about me)

We're not stupid because we speak slower, consider our words carefully.  We hold that our words mean something so we are careful with them.  Liberal Yankee types tend to just say anything to get them to the next moment, never worrying about the effect of their words upon their listener.  Which explains the main dumb Southern thing, and she's a Carpet Bagger anyway, Debbie "Congressional Barbie" Wasserman-Schultz.

When your words mean something you are careful how you use them.  You think about them.  It's why I am much more likely to accept someone who is deliberative rather than running off at the mouth.  Speaking slower doesn't mean you're mentally defective, it may just mean that you're thinking of the best way to say something instead of just spouting off with nonsense.  It may mean that you are considering who your audience is and what words to best use with them.

I've noticed that people from back East love to sound smart, without actually being smart.  They are mostly academic types who would die in the wild.  Fortunately, most of them decide to forego reproduction, afraid of leaving a carbon footprint. Darwinism in action, folks.  Natural Selection = Survival of the Fittest.  The Atheist God Darwin's law in action.

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