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Saturday, December 07, 2013

Weddings

Today my youngest is going to marry.  She is of legal age, he is not a blood relative and they both have decided that they wish to combine their lives together in the ministry he hopes to have in a few short years.  As most parents do, I wish for their future to be bright and successful.  I also wish for a grandchild or two in a few years.

And yet, I sit here, this morning, watching Pearl Harbor honorariums on the TV and feel my stomach tremble in trepidation.  I worry that they are so young.  I worry that they are so inexperienced in a world that doesn't care what it chews up and spits out.  I worry about the job market, insurance, cars, bank accounts and right now in particular?  Whether or not we have enough beverages for the 100+ guests who apparently RSVPed this event. Small wedding, still huge worries.

As my youngest, my daughter had the most of me.  She got the attention the others missed. She was a permanent attachment to my side as a toddler and pre-schooler.  She was my snuggle bug.    She used to come in and sleep with me, despite having her own room and bed. It was a hard habit for her to break when I eventually remarried.  We always made sure she felt she could come to us though, and there were a few nights she snuggled between the two us, feeling safe and warm.  As with all of my children, I wish they could hold on to that feeling everyday for the rest of their lives.

My daughter is independent, wants to do things herself, live life on her terms.  At the grand old age of 19 she feels she's ready for this step. I pray she's right. But, I worry.

Even though she's lived with her fiance for nearly a year now, I still worry that they will have a hard time meshing their lives, sharing the yoke of shared responsibility that is married life.  I worry that they are too young, too idealistic, but I'll be honest, I wouldn't want to meet anyone aged 19 and 21 who were not idealistic.  They have great dreams and I want for them to be realized.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, if you like institutions... Ba-dum-bum.  Family is the glue that holds a society together.  Which is why there are segments of society that are actively working to tear the family apart. As Erma Bombeck once wrote, "Family, the ties that bind... and gag."  I'll also be completely honest here, I don't get the whole "But, it's family..." bludgeoning tool that people use to make you do something you don't want to or feel is right.  But the family unit is something we tend to cling to in good and bad times.  Most of the time family will come to our aid when our friends take a few steps back.  And then again, we all have friends that will stick with us like family, too.  I have one of those friends with me here this weekend.  She came up early to help me keep my shit together when I am wont to lose it completely.  Like when my car broke down last night.  The little SUV was supposed to be my work horse today. So I am dragooning my bestie and her SUV.

So my little girl will be starting her own family today as she weds the man of her choice.  I hope her marriage is a joyful, trying and life affirming as mine has been to her step-father.  As the English say, I wish her very happy.

1 comment:

Sharon Scully said...

I'm crying.. that was beautiful, Angela.. sigh..