Shame

A gaming acquaintance of mine in England posted the following picture online with the usual vitriolic speil about evil corporations, etc.

OK, it's England, they are generationally dependent on all kinds of welfare and not used to paying their full way.  I get that.  But the knee jerk reaction to the way the letter was worded was what offended them.  I completely did not get that from the letter.  In fact, this should be the form letter sent out to most of those deadbeats who would rather scream to the masses about their oppression rather than work or pay their bills.

First off, how long to you have to go without paying your rent before the landlord will evict you?  I'm sure in England it's rather a long time, knowing their social policies as I do.  Secondly, if you cannot pay your rent and put your children in danger of being declared homeless and being taken away by the state (as is evidently the rule the GB, rather than the exception) perhaps your priorities are so out of whack that you raising those kids is not in their best interest.  I mean, you've already taught them that not paying the bills is unimportant and that it's more important to yell and scream about your misuse by "The Man" or "The Corporation" when you finally get caught.  Nice lesson, there.

However, instead of getting your children into a more secure situation, your first reaction is to run to the internet, show everyone what a whining attention whore you really are.  Your first instinct was not to say, try to work and scrape the money together to keep them in stable housing.  Not making sure they did not feel what most children of poverty do, the abject fear of having everything taken away from them, what little they do have.  But no, great parent that you are you went crying to the intarwebs and tried to get sympathy you did not deserve from idiots just like you.

Children do not need parents who are more concerned with garnering unwarranted attention that attending their children's needs.  They need parents who love them more than the shame and ignominy among their peers by being evicted into the streets then carted away to State Care because their parent(s) are not putting their children's needs first.  Children need love and stability, not the constant upheaval of emotionally idiotic parents who put their own wants and needs before the responsibilities they accepted when they decided to become a parent.

And don't think that I sit on some throne on high with no knowledge of how things really are.  I've been dirt poor, married to a man more concerned with chasing skirts than paying his rent or anything.  I've been forced into food stamps while married with four kids because he couldn't manage to bring a paycheck home.  I've worked jobs I hated, I've worked at home doing ANYTHING it took to keep us together.  I divorced that man, never saw a cent of child support and I worked hard, lived on the constant edge with lay offs, short term temp jobs and still had family help me.  At no time did I go running out into the streets with a termination notice, crying that I was put upon and how mean the evil corporations were.  I begged family for help, promise to pay them back and lived like an Ethiopian until I did.  My kids never did.  It was never their responsibility to make sure I was fed and clothed, it was mine to do for them.  I accepted that responsibility.

When I was laid off from a job I was upset, scared.  I signed up with three different temp agencies on my way back to my shabby little apartment, that was all I could afford.  That was on a Friday.  I was working the following Monday, and kept at it with temp jobs until I got a permanent position a couple of months later. My parents and my sister always checked in, but I kept our lights on, a roof over our head and my old car running.  I kept my kids fed, in school, in after school care.  All without having to resort to crying to the populace that the evil unions went on strike and cost me my job.  I joked with friends about it and we all talked about stupid union strikes and how they hurt non-union people.  I was working for less than $8 per hour.  I was doing medical transcription evenings at home, while my kids played and helped them with their homework.  My parents would drop off groceries every now and then, check on their grandchildren.  I managed to get by, all without screeching about how put upon I was by evil anyone.

I finally managed to get a really great job and stayed in that field for many years. I eventually got out when I realized that I was just not built to lie to people in the stead of other people for a living.  I got an even better job that I loved so much, but eventually had to leave due to family problems at the family business.  I like the work I do, I work hard. It's what you're supposed to do.  You should be ashamed that you cannot provide for your children or yourself.  You should be ashamed you've received an eviction notice.  You should cringe under the rock you live under to bring your shame so publicly into the notice of your children.

Has the person who posted this letter no shame whatsoever?  They are saying, quite loudly and clearly, "Look at me! I can't pay my bills!  My priorities are so far out of whack that I would rather use the internet to post my shame to the world than look for work to make sure my children have a roof over their heads! Come!  Look at the attention whore who craves attention, but not pride."

That was my take away.