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Saturday, July 27, 2013

The Game

I just finished re-reading Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game in anticipation of the November release of the movie.  The one line from that book that always stayed with me was, "The enemy's gate is down."  Unless you've read the book, you have no idea what this means.  You might think you do, but you don't.  It dovetailed nicely with my mantra of "perception is everything".  I have liked Ender Wiggins from his first fight at school at the very beginning of the book.  Because I understood why he did what he did.  Like the Battle School administrator would later say, it was most important to understand why Ender did it, than how he did it.  It's a concept many say that they understand, and yet, they don't really get it at all.

I'm about to impart a huge window into who I am in this next paragraph.  Trust me when I say, the government can read it all they like.  I'm not impressed with them actually learning anything from any intelligence they are handed.  Look up the Boston Marathon Bomber if you doubt the veracity of my statement.

I am the type of person who doesn't like to be bullied or see others bullied.  I am known for a sort of scorched earth solution to problems like bullying.  I want you down and I don't want you to get back up, ever again.  You will leave me alone one way or another.  It's why I have such a charismatic personality and people love to be around me.  Let me make this crystal clear, I don't like hurting anyone.  I would prefer that I just be left to my own devices by every man, woman and abortion on this planet.  However, if you do start the SH, I will bring the IT and I will be loaded for bear.  I will not stop until you are stopped. I will not allow you to ever again take out your psychosis on me or anyone else.  I don't like it, don't relish it and would ask you to please take your mental illness elsewhere.  But I will stop what you stupidly start.

I used to teach a women's self-defense class at my Tae Kwon Do dojang.  The first thing I taught the ladies under my tutelage was that there are no rules.  When it comes to someone attacking you and doing you harm, there are absolutely no prohibitions whatsoever in protecting yourself.  I had to undo decades of teaching that you can't sack a male or grab genitals.  The poor man who stood in for a male attacker was a tall, young man and basically wore a bear suit because of what I was teaching women. He'd seen me take down a smart assed male in class street-simulation one day because he annoyed me.  Gave that little peter a twist and he was definitely singing in a new register after.  He also didn't like the quarter I flipped at him as I told him to put a down payment on a new personality.

I liked that game.  Street simulations.  No rules, ever.  If you can touch me anywhere you'd like, same goes for me.  If you hurt me, I will hurt you. If you scare me, I will make you cry.  I've been called vicious, cruel and a ball buster.  They are all true within that very limited scope.  Because I see no reason why I cannot protect myself with any means necessary to get you to stop hurting me.  I loved the years I studied self-defense techniques.  And to my relief, I have never, ever had to use them outside the dojang.  Not once.

Does this mean I'm the baddest person on the planet?  Oh hell no.  I can think of 3 people living in my house that could put me down fast if I wasn't aware of it.  I may even put up a hell of a fight, too.  I'm not a brawler, not built for it.  I just want to make sure that, if necessary, I can take out someone who is trying to hurt me.  That makes me nothing more than a human being.

Today I went to the gun range my husband and I belong to.  I discovered I hate the new gun he bought me.  I rediscovered my love for rifles.  And I discovered that I will always defeat my husband because his mind if a hazy labyrinth of "rules".  You can only use one stance to shoot.  "Mighty wide silhouette there, maybe you should try this one?"  Oh no, you have to stand this way.  That's the rule.

Right.  And I'm sure that Mr. I Want Your Wallet will be sure to observe all rules when he shoots you for the tenner you are carrying.

Don't get me wrong, rules serve a purpose.  I don't intentionally go about breaking rules just to break them.  But, when it comes to life and death decisions, rules do not apply at all, ever.  It's why I love the game so much.  My normal day is full of "you can do this, but not that" so that when I am able to practice firing a weapon, or just write about stuff, I can do and be anything I like and there are no damned rules.

Especially rules that state I am not able to defend myself.  I always have that right and if you don't agree with me, then the enemy's gate is down.

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