I Never Believed

For the past couple of years I've run into new conservatives and born-again conservatives. I smile, listen to their "testimony" and agree on all their particular points. But I can't really understand them. I've never partaken of the Liberal Kool-Aid that is necessary for a total denial of reality. I've smoked pot, dropped acid, popped pills, drank like a sailor on 24 hours liberty, but I have never, ever denied reality. I knew from these experiences that reality was always waiting on the other side for me, and more than likely just a little pissed off at having to chase me down.

In spite of my faith I have remained an Objectivist, despite all efforts to "reason" my "mythological delusion" away.

You look at the previous paragraphs and you have to scratch your head, right? Not at all. Religion has never, ever asked me to deny reality, whereas drugs and Progressive Liberalism demand that you do so. Liberals tell you to have no faith in anyone, save The Government, which is them. Many think that the tenets of the Judeo-Christian ethic demand sacrifice. I've read the Bible, and searched within myself and I believe I still serve God with my form of service that satisfies me and still helps others. The Church and I agree to disagree on my sacrificing for the sake of sacrifice. We've agreed to disagree on a great many things so that I can continue to teach children why Catholics do the things they do. That is my service and I'm damned good at it. In the past 8 years I've seen exactly one altar server that has not gone through my classroom. It tells me that they may not always understand when I tell them, but it resonates later in their minds. That is the hallmark of a good teacher.

I've always believed in God and the whole Jesus "thing". Never doubted, not once. That is within me so deeply that fire cannot burn it out. Fellow Objectivists have slowly learned that it's best not to come at me on the subject. They believe that I'm suffering a delusion and I just feel sorry for them. Like, I said, we've agreed to disagree. I've also always believed that God helps those who help themselves. Because frankly, if you don't help you, why should I? That has been the hallmark of my life. It's the whole "Avenge me mine enemies" parable writ large.

The things I have never, ever believed in were that there is no free lunch, no one is just waiting in the wings to save me from myself and no one will ever help me but me. I rely on myself and don't expect my neighbor or anyone else to come pick me up from a mess I've made myself. Have I asked for help? Yes. I cannot do everything by myself. Have I made a habit of getting myself into things I can't get out of? No. I learn from my mistakes and try to never repeat them... well, with the exception of reading books that people I know recommend when I know we don't like the same thing in books at all. Hope springs eternal even in my jaded mind.

I don't think that the Government can live my life better than I can or make decisions for me better than I can. I don't believe that anyone else has the right to make decisions for me. I don't believe anyone on this planet has my best interests at heart. My husband and family care if I am happy, but no one else is going out of their way to make sure I am happy. Proof of this? The number of stupid people on the roads at any given moment. Exhibit A.

Oh, I can fake it. I can appear concerned. However, I honestly don't care about your wardrobe, what you use on your lawn or whether or not your spawn will get into community college or how you will pay for it all. I am concerned about me and what is happening in my life. Because if I'm not happy, many other people will not be happy, and so on and so on.

I have never believed that by holding someone's hand and singing Kumbyah that I could change the world in some great Utopia. I don't believe in Utopia. I don't believe that by not believing in Utopia that I believe in Dystopia. I don't believe the world goes to hell when humans are allowed to fully express their free will and enjoy the fruits or suffer the follies of it. I believe in paying the worth of something while still holding on to your own wallet. I believe the free market system keeps people honest. I believe the free market system outs the cheaters, looters and hangers on faster than any Senate Committee.

I also believe that government is only the answer when it comes to defense of our country and our borders and that the full power of the Federal Government should be concentrated in that area, not chasing fools across the freakin globe. Make them come to us then shoot them.

The government does not have your best interest at heart. Government is only concerned with shoring up its power base. If you're collateral damage, well, they'll speak well of you at a press conference and move on to the next ballot cattle.

If you believe that is what is true and good in this world, keep drinking the Kool-Aid. I'll have reality, straight up, no chaser.