But... But... What About The Children?

Sounding like a motorboat that is in desperate need of a tune-up, Liberals can always be depended upon to try to guilt you into feeling their moral superiority by throwing children in to their arguments. You could be talking about the gross national product of Outer Mongolia and the minute they've reached the point where they know they're stupid and wrong, they try to make you feel like the moral equivalent of a sweat shop owner.

Let me be, as Janine Garofalo might say, straight up honest about this. Except for my own flesh and blood, I don't give a flying fig on a rolling donut about "the children". And better yet, I can guarantee you that Liberals feel even less than I do about "the children".

I'll tell you about "the children". For the most part, in industrialized nations they are spoiled beyond all redemption and have been taught that they are entitled everything on the very virtue of existing. They've been told they don't need to have jobs, that unemployment and food stamps is the level to which they should seek, government care is what is best for them. They should all be bitch slapped and made to live in Third-World countries like India and Indonesia and expected to support their families by working in sweat shops. Then they might not whine so much about not being given a car for their sixteenth birthday or expect parents to buy their way into college because they can't be arsed to study for their SATs.

Now, let me tell you about "the parents" of "the children". Those self-righteous bitches should be clubbed with a Clue-By-Four and made to watch videos of their children that they've posted on YouTube to show what unique little snowflakes those malignant bastards really are. So busy buying your kid off with whatever they want because you don't find them interesting enough to spend time talking to them, that you turn your face away when they do something awful and horrible, because YOU KNOW it reflects on you as their primary teacher. Instead you blame the schools society, video games, movies, TV, rap music... all the while screaming like John Belushi in the Blues Brothers, 'IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"

Yeah, baby, it was your fault. All those baseball and soccer games where they lost and still got trophies just for showing up. No wonder your kid wants a freaking parade for putting the freaking lid back on the toothpaste. You abdicate all parental responsibility to the local school district and wonder why your kid grows up morally bankrupt. Better to sleep in on Sundays than take them to Sunday School and sit through the service together, as a family.

Now, for those parents out there who do show up on the job, discipline their kids when necessary, not only attend functions, teachers meetings and involve themselves "in the process". Good for you. No, that's not a Christian Bale imitation. I mean it. Keep up the good work. Stay with your kids, allow them to make mistakes and more importantly, learn from them.

For those of you Helicopter and Blackhawk Parents. Back off and cut the cord. Hovering does not a parent make. And I've got SAMs to prove it.