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Saturday, April 10, 2010

Playing the Victim

You know, you cannot watch any TV program or open any magazine without some drug company telling you that you are the victim of some disease or mental process and they have just the medicine to make you the perfect human being.


You know what I think? I think there are an awful lot of Baby Boomers out there who don't feel they are people anymore and need a pill to make them young and relevant again. Try eating a balanced diet and put the Ho Hos down and you won't be irregular. Skin itches? Try some hydrocortisone cream. Feeling down? Try to stop being a useless Baby Boomer, realizing that you peaked in the 70s and it's all been downhill since. Oh, and stop the botox and plastic surgery already.

We have been conditioned to think that we just need a pill to feel good. This philosophy, of course, was peddled by the "better living through chemistry" crowd that brought us tripping on LSD and Thalidomide. A pill is not going to make you any more relevant in your own life than buying that new pair of jeans will. And no, attending yet another Rolling Stones concert will not make you 20 again.

Here is the big secret as to why Americans, especially, feel empty. YOU ARE. Jesus, I hate sheople. You sit around vapidly watching reality TV and wonder why you don't look like Matthew Fox or Kim Kardashian. BECAUSE YOU SIT AROUND WATCHING TV ALL THE TIME EATING POTATO CHIPS. Christ on a cracker! No one reads books anymore, no one plays piano or guitar or does something that is not pointlessly staring into space awaiting the next thing to capture your attention for five seconds.

Get a hobby, for the love of Science.

You do not need a pill or a support group, you need to get up off your ass and do something with your life that brings YOU enjoyment. Screw other people's expectations, do what YOU want to do, what makes YOU happy and you won't need the next damned pill that comes down the pike that causes heart failure and anal seepage. Remember what I said about your happiness? No one outside of yourself keeps you from being happy. No one can make you unhappy if you don't let them. Stop letting them. Stop letting someone else captain YOUR ship. Take control, be your own person and THINK YOUR OWN THOUGHTS.

Because, honey, there is no Prince Charming on a white steed waiting to charge in with a capsule of "Oh, doesn't that feel good?" to save you from yourself.

Here endeth that particular lesson.

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