Yikes!

 

Yesterday I was leveling my MCH in FFXIV and did my last Roulette, an Alliance Raid. The RNG (which ain't so random or I wouldn't be in Dead Ends for all of my 90s every single day) chose The Dark World. It's a fun raid and to me, at least, very easy.

I was disastrously wrong, but it helped me to tease out my ponderings on the problem with FFXIV and trust me, that ain't no typo. The game is nearly perfect with the exception of nobody knowing their goddamn role in the game.

The biggest problem with MMO gamers is that they want to solo everything. People don't play MMOs to play with other people. Have you BEEN in an XBox lobby? They play to get uber shit and then show it off while standing around whatever socialization place is currently the rage in that game to have everyone oooh and aaaah over them. THAT is why they play. Or to be the top of some idiot list some moron posted trying to make themselves look like god while they touch themselves. Yeah, I'm lookin' at you.

In an FFXIV Alliance Raid, you have three groups of eight people, One tank, two healers, and five DPS. Last night, I was DPS. We had two white mages as our healers. OMFG, with a warrior tank it was like hitting the trifecta at the track, amiright? 

And then we began. It quickly became very apparent that, with the exception of the tank and myself, nobody knew WTF they were doing and weren't reading group or raid chat to find out. We had two white mages to heal our eight man party but they were too busy using their one damage spell (sorry fuckers, Aero ain't doing shit) that they let the tank and then three DPS died, then they both died. I just kept shooting at shit.

The raid leader stopped everything and chewed our healers out. They never said a word, but they were healing after that. Know your fucking role moron. You're a healer so heal. You wanna blast shit, then suffer through being a thaumaturge, bleed MP out of your eyes for no return, then become a black mage. Get your shit outta my way.

At level sixty, you should not have to be told what your role in a group is. Ever. If you do it proves you're the type of fucking retard who hangs around the Limsa aetheryte in some stupid glamor praying for the ooohs and aaaahs to validate your pathetic existence. God you're stupid.

I know a mentor in the game. Cool. collected, and knows their shit. When grouped, I tend to follow them so I know where to stand. They're mentors for a reason. They play every class, have been in all of the dungeons and raids and they are ready to help anyone who asks for it. I love them. (No, they don't have pronouns to the best of my knowledge, I am using language as it is intended to be used because I know language. Go dye your hair blue.)

Anyhoodles, and I'm sure you're not getting that I'm still mad about this, but I am. Ask yourself why I would be mad. It's a game, man. Shake it off.

I play games to clear my mind, work through problems and ideas for my writing. Discord helps me a lot. You folks in discord have no idea how you've helped. Especially you, El. Little idea generators.

I am not a mentor for a reason... several reasons. I don't like to tank, and I don't like holding hands. I won't kiss either. This is not a relationship.

If you are level sixty in a game with ninety levels and you don't know WTF you're supposed to be doing with your toon in a raid or dungeon, then dude, it's a you problem. 

Yesterday, before the stupid raid thing, I had a roulette (daily in every other game) in Stone Vigil Hard, which I am not getting every single freakin' day for some reason, along with Dead Ends. The tank, a Dark Knight, is watching the cut scene before entering the dungeon and so I know, "new Tank". My husband was doing this with his own DK for a couple of weeks, leveling them up. Then I notice the WHM who is our healer (four man dungeon) is also watching the cut scene and my stomach drops, but I'm hopeful they know their fucking role by level fifty. God I was wrong.

The tank was careful and shy, you could tell they were brand spanking new. No confidence at all. The healer kept running ahead, agroing everything and getting killed. Fuck, we couldn't get the tank to approach the mobs, but the healer was willing to kill us all.

The other DPS dropped out after the second wipe on our way to the first boss. We got a new one, so I started giving out hints as to what we should do. Until we got to the first boss and it was clear I was going to have to give instructions. I was kind, you know, the instructions any impatient tank is going to give when it's obvious they're the only one who knows Midgardsomr. What to do at what stage, where to stand and for the love of GAWD, keep the GD tank healed.

It worked and we got out. I didn't get one single commendation, but I gave one to the tank because they'd done it with someone else leading them (which is totally not the job of the DPS, trust me on this). I have to thank my mentor pal, because I used their gentle nudges in the right direction tactic to help us get through. Encouraged the tank to take smaller groupings, bullied the healer into actually healing, and blasting groups of mobs with machine gun tactics. I think the other DPS we picked up was a Dragoon. God, I love dragoons. As Corvwen says, "Just stand behind it and poke it in the ass". 

Her Titan Carbuncle stands in my face while I'm shooting and I'm shooting IT in the ass. Stupid giant pets.

So, here is my challenge to you, Gentle Reader, get out there and play. Research your job/class. Know the role you fill in any grouping and play that. Learn when you can color outside the lines and when you can't. As a healer, I'm always overjoyed to get a Warrior or Gunbreaker. It means I will get to cast (usually an AOE) and do a little damage to get us through quicker, but also to exercise those fingers pressing one and two on my keyboard instead of trying to remember which bar is CTRL and which is ALT. I kid. I always know. Except for that one time I hit Peleton instead of Devilment. Complete accident anybody could have made. It was the Fifth Circle and you appreciated it, so STFU. You made it to your cube in time.

Have fun with the game. I know! What freakin' idiot would do that. Having fun playing a game? Madness. But fun isn't fun when it's at the expense, literally, of someone else.

The past few weekends a few of us have gotten together and done Mount Runs. We make sure everyone in the party has the mount before we move one. I think one day it took nearly all day as the mount just was not dropping, but we had fun doing it... together. Since we were doing it unsynched for the low level stuff, we could plow through pretty quickly and... try out things that were unsafe regularly. It was fun and educational and we all got new mounts. Thanks Ymir. Love ya, but I won't cuddle. Lines I will not cross.

Go play!