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Saturday, April 30, 2022

The Trad Wife Myth

 


I have to say I have been more than a little amused by the reaction to the role of the traditional wife in society.  It's hilarious when I compare what the Leftist see as traditional compared to reality.

I am what most on the Left would consider a traditional wife. I quit working for other people and stayed home to write books. My husband and I have been married over twenty years. Most of them I worked. We both take care of the house, but I cook and do the laundry almost exclusively. He pitches in as he can if I am sick or injured because I am the clumsiest woman on earth. Yes, I broke and dislocated two ribs playing with my dog.

I cook, I bake, I garden. I take care of him because he takes care of me. It is a mutual agreement between the two of us. He works very hard, for long hours and he has a hot meal when he gets home and clean clothes to gad about in. I have the assurance that we won't be starving and threadbare because he's too stupid and/or lazy to make sure we can pay our mortgage.

We take care of each other. I worked for years and always felt that I wasn't taking care of things at home. He wanted me to stay home, as his mother had. She earned money doing alterations and being a seamstress. Her sewing was gifted. I inherited her sewing machine which I have no idea how to use. I'd like to get to know and am seriously thinking of enrolling in a sewing class this summer.

He takes care of the cars, the lawn, and home maintenance. My husband is not stupid, but his mind is that of a man... what if I just did this? It's backfired spectacularly more times than it hasn't. It's funny, I laugh at him just as hard as he does when I managed to mangle myself by simply getting out of bed. Honestly, I think he wants to put me in bubble wrap and leave the medical bills behind. I love it.

He also does the stuff in the garden that I want to do, only after he fails with his stupid ideas. I let him, make fun, nag, and then we do it the way it should be done. Evidently, growing up on a farm and tending the garden most of my life gives me no special knowledge of how to care for plants, but he watched YouTube video so he knows shit. Yes, that's what I put up with. This is how my greenhouse wound up under three shade trees. Yes, plants need shade.

What can I say, some do. He is moving said greenhouse as his special lesson this Spring. It's good for him to learn that things in his head can be wrong. I know, he's had a TON of examples, but he's Dutch, so...

Does this mean he doesn't realize what I do? Yeah, until he has to do it for himself, then suddenly my being a Tetris master makes sense after doing the dishes. He has new respect for how I do the laundry and we never have wrinkled clothes with my ever touching an iron.

Because of the state of my joints, he has to sweep and mop, which is why I got a ton of new Bissell products this Spring. I love them all. Trust me, once you use a steam mop, you will never do it any other way. The CrossWave has been a life saver as we have a Husky and four cats, only two of which are ours. Yes, my man buys me any appliance I want.

We bought a new oven four years ago. It was a Whirlpool, which I was not thrilled about because they do not honor their extended warranties. It broke down and sure enough, four years is more than long enough for you to own any large, expensive appliance. Sure. Fine. 

Appliance guy, show me ANYTHING but Whirlpool.

The Man went shopping online, comparing and contrasting and found an oven with a proofing feature, which we need in our air conditioning.  We had crazily thought about installing a proofing drawer until this function appeared before our bedazzled eyes. My man wants home made bread, hot out of the oven slathered with butter and honey, that's what the hell he gets. Along with the chocolate chip cookies he and the kids love. It's the one time they will visit. One post on social media that I'm cooking and they're here like a shot with the one living out of town demanding I FedEx them overnight immediately.

I take care of him because I love him. He takes care of me because he loves me. Does this mean we never disagree? See my comments on the greenhouse and gardening for a reality check on that. We do, but it is not the end of us.

I want him to be happy, he wants me to be happy. OMFG! We're not adversaries ready to rip one another in public and court. How can I call myself a woman?

Easily, because I'm doing what I want to do. I want to take care of my family. I watch two of my grandchildren so they are not put into infant and toddler warehouses, known as day care. Another is watched by his maternal grandmother. Because we love our grandkids. We love our families and want them to be happy and healthy. Hell, my grandkids gave me COVAIDS just before Christmas. None of got to spend it together. My husband was around all of us at one time or another and he's the ONLY one who didn't get it. He got to deliver the presents to houses.

My grandkids then gave me RSV or Respiratory syncytial Virus, which was so much worse than COVAIDS had been.  It took me about six weeks to recover from that. While watching them and coughing constantly.

I love watching them, knowing they are with someone who loves them, knows them, and actually cares for them. I think that the three grandchildren who are watched by loving grandmothers are much happier for it. My daughter who lives away from us wished she could stay home with her son until COVAIDS closed her offices and she had to work from home. Suddenly her son's pre-school was her favorite place and she mourned the closing down of the city she lives in. She loved working from home with a feral three, then four year old running around wild. Everybody did because no day cares were open. She had a baby in the Time of COVID. She's still working from home and she loves and hates the baby going to day care. She missed the time with her kids, but she loves that she can concentrate on her work.

I remember that. Feeling conflicted because you work hard so you can provide for your kids and families. Because I love my kids, I wanted them to be happy, and finding out they weren't for much of their childhood was a blow.

When you love someone you want them to be happy. You will do things to make them happy, because it makes YOU happy. Not things that harm or degrade you. Never accept someone who's happiness can only be purchased with your misery.

That is the very foundation of being a traditional wife. There is joy, for most women, to be found in caring for their families. Ask those around you who are willing to go against the NOW Party line. Liberation is realizing you can do what's best for you. Plus, if you don't work, Momma Gubmint don't get tax dollahs to give billions to Ukraine of Pakistani Gender Role studies.

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