A Lady Grooming PSA

I come to you tonight with an important message about female grooming... female grooming in relationships.

For the love of all that is holy and beautiful in this world, please, gentlemen, please, for the love of God, do not ever come up behind your wife/girlfriend/woman you're mooching off of while she is doing the bikini shaving, and without any warning that you are there go, "HEY!"

Now, the metrosexual males among us are going to know exactly of which I speak. There is NEVER a moment when shaving the heuvos when it's a good idea to sneak up and go "Whatcha doin, honey?" You just don't ever do that. We know this.

Now, I realize that this is not very compelling, oh, gentle reader, as my past diatribes on punching the lady with a full basket in the express lane at the market or a book by Chelsea Lately, however, I feel that this is a useful public service. Do you men even realize the careful shaving it takes to make a heart shape? Have you no idea of the tender areas which require neurosurgeon like skill to get just right so you don't look like you're smuggling a poodle in your bikini?

Listen up bud, it takes time, patience and years of trial and error to get these delicate things just right, so don't screw it up.

Now, it is perfectly OK for you to make noise upon entering the room, leer and smile and ask if you can help. Chances are good it could lead to shaving cream and hot monkey sex. Real good, especially if the kids aren't at home. I don't think I need to elaborate on this.

So men, be kind. Clear your throat. Drop your keys. Trip over the socks you left on the floor. Just don't ruin carefully cultivated shaving rituals.